Because he’s always felt, he’s always known it; and maybe that doesn’t make it worse, maybe that’s the lynchpin and the crux of this entire, fucked up thing: he felt, he felt like the epics relished, like the world only dreamed, and he’d only ever cut it down, smothered it until it barely even breathed, kept it hidden and never let it loose, never let it love beyond the dark spots of his soul.
Ugh. This line from a TSN Mark/Eduardo fic is pretty much the story of my life. People say I’m cold and unfeeling a lot, but that’s not really the truth. I’m a cliche, really. I created this persona of a person who doesn’t care about people or what they think of me because it hurts less when they don’t like me that way. If no one ever gets close to me then I’m never vulnerable.
Except mostly, I just end up alone. Fuck, I’m whiny tonight.
But whatevs, I guess.
